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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Shifi 6 years, 10 months ago.

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  • January 6, 2013 at 12:26 pm #855

    malka
    Subscriber

    Hi Shifi,
    My daugher was having a hard time getting thru to a teacher to resolve some work. It seems that the style is to keep coming back to the teacher daily to get the info. She is so frustrated. Should I suggest some alternatives to her, speak to the school administrator to intervene, or speak to the teacher directly?

    January 6, 2013 at 12:29 pm #856

    Shifi
    Key Master

    None of the above, Malka. Validate her, you can empathize with her but then throw the ball back into her court and have her decide what to do. She’s too old for you to really do the work for her, plus, we know even if you do, she often doesn’t listen anyway.

    For example:

    “oy, sweetie. That’s so annoying of the teacher! How does she expect you to know what to do? I feel so bad for you.”

    (sigh)

    then ask “so what do you think you’re going to do about this?”

    Throw the ball back into HER court and control the temptation to do the problem-solving for her. Remember that in adolescent/teenage years much of what you suggest to your children to do, becomes poison. So remember that the general rule is: the more suggestions you make, the less options they end up having to choose from.

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