The important ability to recognize and correctly identify one’s own and other’s emotions.
Now that we can identify all the different emotions, what are the appropriate ways to deal with an intense emotion?
Everyone calms themselves down differently. Acknowledging how we calm ourselves down in advance, so that we can use that method right when we begin to feel an intense emotion, is a core part of grown up.
Appropriate problem solving skills is what makes the difference between a mature adult or child and an immature one. We can train ourselves to think in terms of problem solving. And once we recognize the feeling we are feeling and identify the specific problem, we can think through various solutions and their consequences.
Awareness that we have an anger problem is the first step in succeeding to control our anger. Anger is actually a “secondary emotion,” which is often confused with primary emotions. (ex: We act angry when we feel hurt.)
Recognizing our “anger buttons” is essential in dealing with anger. Knowing in advance what upsets us, can help us at that moment that the trigger occurs. We must train our brain to associate these triggers with calming ourselves down immediately, before we feel that really intense emotion, so that we can deal with this appropriately.
Learning what a bully is, how to detect a bully, characteristics of a bully, characteristics of a victim, how to diminish the chances of having a bully in a classroom, techniques to respond to a bully (Note: We do not teach children to ignore bullies according to the latest research. This can perpetuate their feeling of being a victim.), learning the importance of the bystanders, rewarding the bystanders, (Note: In school, often the teachers can be the bystanders.), inspiring and effective books that can be read to children of all different ages to help portray the bully-victim experience.